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Deer Diary, It Takes a Village

Deer Diary,

It has been one wild ride the last few weeks. I was very certain that leaving LA was what I needed to do. I wasn't feeling it. I was ready to initiate Plan B, which was a solid plan. However, everything changed, and that shift started with a haircut.

I've made a very good friend here in Los Angeles, and she is a hair genius, and her clients are celebrities. I was in severe need of a trim so I wrote to tell her that I would love to be able to afford her level of brilliance, but needed a less expensive recommendation. She wouldn't have it. I went to her salon in West Hollywood and received the most beautiful cut, and she found a way for me to compensate. I also told her how I felt that LA wasn't working out for me, and I was leaning towards leaving. She was genuinely SO sad! I couldn't believe it! She reinstated my belief in real friendship. I left there questioning my decision.

It was possible here.

That Saturday I took off to the desert. My dear friend, whom I met in Portland, Maine had a house in Twentynine Palms for the month. She is a tremendous musician and her equally as amazing musician friend also came out. This friend was coming from LA as well, and we arrived within minutes of one another - already on the same wavelength. She blew my mind. True warrior goddesses, both of them. We spent the weekend getting to the bottom of absolutely everything, including my situation. And we were in the most incredible place! I instantly connected to the desert energy - a place completely foreign to me. I couldn't get enough! The desert sky, man. The desert nights!

I'm totally in awe and in love with it and plan to return tomorrow.

Leaving my friend's, heading back to LA, I knew what I had to do. I had to stay. There were things here I needed to learn. There were people here I needed to learn from. I had work to do, and for the time being it needs to be done, here, in LA. I immediately began apartment hunting. I had until the 15th of August in the place I've been occupying downtown. I spent all of Monday driving to apartments and staring at apartment searches. Of course while all this is going down, I get a phone call to sub a barre fitness class at a studio I'd been trying to teach at for the last two months! Of course! You see when you set intentions, the Universe answers with opportunity. I had just returned from a 3hr drive from the desert, exhausted from nonstop processing with the desert goddesses, staying up until 2am watching the sky, and had dove straight into the home search. "YES!," I told them, I could swing subbing a class THAT NIGHT!

And I did, and it was a success.

With desert sand still in my shoes I got in my car to return to the downtown home, and as I did I realized the studio was on the SAME STREET as the apartment I'd first seen that day, the one in Koreatown, the one I had a feeling about. Just after deciding I was going to leave LA, this same yoga studio offered me a yoga class twice a week, of which I said yes to despite my potential departure. So you can imagine how amazing it would be to actually live on the same street that you work on, just a few blocks away! I returned home to get back on the computer to set up more appointments. It was the right thing to do - to keep looking.

The next day was Tuesday. I got up, went to yoga, meditated on finding a place, and out into the streets I went. I went to 5 different locations. Echo Park, two more in Koreatown, Westlake, Hollywood. I kept thinking about the first place I saw. It was cheaper, bigger, more charming, and down the street from work. Then it was time to teach. My first yoga class in LA. It was a proud moment. And although my mind had been on everything else I somehow managed to turn it off once I shut that door. All of the struggle and uncertainty dropped away. I had a job to do, and it was now about my students' journey.

Another success, I think. Everything felt good. I was the most tired I'd been in a long time, but man did it feel right...

On my way back home I knew. I had to act on that first place. I didn't want to look anymore when I knew deep down that that was the one. And I desperately wanted to get back to my life. Applying for an apartment is no easy task for a gal like me. Landlords don't feel too cozy about freelancing, gypsy model yogis. You have to be creative with the application. I have excellent credit and excellent references, but that is about it. You gotta do what you gotta do. I had no pay stubs as I just landed in LA and the work I'd done had been mostly for friends. I asked my new modeling agency to write a stellar letter, they did. I asked my new studio, they did. I asked a private yoga client in NYC, they did too.

I contacted the K-town apartment and told them I wanted to apply. They said to get there at 9am next day with everything, because others wanted it too. "No problem," I told them. On my way there I phoned my old modeling agency in NY, and asked them if they could send any form of a pay stub, something the managing agency could see and get an idea of my potential earnings. I told them I needed it now as I was on my way there. When I arrived it was in my inbox. I mean, I couldn't believe it! The kindness of strangers!

I don't look great on paper. Getting an apartment without a Guarantor is nothing short of a miracle. And that day, a miracle occurred, and I got that place. I went straight to the bank for the deposit after getting the good news, and dropped it off. I had my dog with me and we took a little tour of what would be our new home. All of my doubts gone.

We did it.

My angels.

It takes a village.

Thank you.

With endless gratitude from the bottom of my heart, thank you!

Love,

Cali-girl, K-town, Coco

You mustn't live so lightly,

Spin your stories, tell your tales,

Let them dance across the oceans

And set the wind upon your sails.

For every truth found on your travels

And in the pits of your despair,

Is a shout into forever

Of "I existed, and I cared."

~ Erin Hanson

Los Angeles, CA

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