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Walk this Way, Guy

Does you partner constantly walk ahead of you? Do you constantly walk ahead of your partner? Stop it. I can speak on behalf of those straggling behind trying to keep up with you that its annoying, okay? First of all, why are you in such a hurry? Are you late for a meeting with the President of the House (:D)? Is someone's life on the line? Is yours?? Stop it. Second of all, where are you rushing off to without me? Ugh. Slow down, man. Walk beside your lady. Hold her hand, don't pull it. Walking ahead sends a message, so ladies and gentlemen, listen up. Coming from a gal whose last 4 out of 5 guys couldn't be bothered to walk by her side, it ain't a good thing.

I chuckled a little when I found this, but I have to agree, this theory has held true 100% of the time in my personal experience, aside from the "loser" part, I wouldn't necessarily call them THAT... From YouQueen, "20 Signs You're Dating a Loser,"

"Real men never walk in front of you unless it’s to open the door for you. If you’re dating a man who always walks in front of you, leaving you straggling behind trying to keep up, then you ought to know that this guy will always leave you behind. He will never consider you his equal, he will never put you first, and he will not take your opinions and feelings into consideration because he puts himself ahead of you (and everyone else).

Now, if your guy occasionally walks ahead of you because he’s super excited over something (the ball game you’re heading to or the new video game he’s nerding over), that’s okay. But if you’re strolling through the park or walking through the museum – or just having an average day – and he walks in front of you, then he’s a loser."

A private yoga student of mine once spotted me walking with my then guy near Union Square in NYC. The next day she told me about it, and reported that I looked sad, and a little lonely. She also took note of the man walking slightly ahead of me, and well, basically she read the room. Funny thing was, is that I didn't remember things being off. To me this had become normal. She also informed me that you will never know a man who walks in front of you. He doesn't want you to know. Well that resonated. So okay, guys, you might not yet be super comfortable with who you are, who is? It might terrify you to stand beside a woman who has the capability to see ALL of you - your flaws, your doubts, your darkness, your insecurity, but give her a chance. If you do actually love her, and are good to her, she is going to shine her love light beams on all of those places you prefer to keep hidden and you will never feel so safe and seen and heard, again. You will slow your stroll and walk confidently side-by-side knowing that you no longer need to hide - this is your woman, your QUEEN, and this makes YOU a KING.

According to YourTango, a smart talk on love blog, science says that a man will slow his pace when he is in love, that his walking speed directly correlates to his affection towards you. According to dating coach and YourTango expert, David Wygant:

"It's all about the man protecting his love from the harsh moments that may come up. He goes into this-is-my-babe mode and wants the world to know that so he walks with her as proud as he can be. It's also a pride thing he wants other males to know that this amazing woman is his and she is off limits to anyone else. Primal how we are really wired."

I like this. Even as a strong, independently fierce feminist, I still want my king to to be right there if sh*t were to hit the fan. One guy told me that he walked ahead in order TO protect me. Nah, that ain't it. What are you going to do when someone abducts me from behind your back? If anything you would walk behind me if that were the real reason. And that's just weird.

Deer gals and guys who walk in front of their partners, I hope you read this and make a conscious effort to meet your loves where they are. I also hope that you investigate why it is that you find it difficult to meet them where they are. They might be slower than average walkers, such as myself. This is not a bad way to be. All the world is in this giant hurry to get to the next thing. Why not view the gem of a gal you have as the Bhudda you've always needed in your life? Enjoy the moment, where you are right now in time and space with this wonderful person during this very brief fall from the cosmos. Trust me, wherever you need to be will be there. Arrive together.

walk slowly. don’t rush. each step brings you to the best moment of your life, the present moment.

- Thich Nhat Hanh