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She's Come Undone; My Hairstory

It was in third grade that I noticed. I couldn't pull off polished. I would gaze at the girls in my class with envy at how they managed to always seem so - together. They had thick, long well-behaved hair, perfect pony tails, and bangs that lay perfectly flat, while my hair was thin and fine, my ponies had bumps always, and my big fat cowlick never allowed for good bangs. I also had two more in the back of my head so my hair went in all kinds of kooky direction. No matter how hard I would work on it in the morning by the time I got to school it appeared as though I'd just rolled out of bed. It wasn't straight, it wasn't curly, it was just - crazy.

These days I get quite a lot of compliments on my hair. People often ask about what I use or how I get my style. I had to learn how to work with what I had actually been given rather than what I'd always wished for. I've given up on bangs and perfect pony tails and perfection altogether, and embraced the art of the undone. Lucky for me, bed-head is a thing - that is the natural state of my hair. I do know how to manipulate it so that there is a controlled chaotic outcome. I've learned what products work best for the type of hair I have. I understand now how my hair will do what it wants, and all I can do is actively surrender. It works because I'm not trying to fight what is, and it truly represents who I am as a person - certainly not polished, but interesting, unpredictable, capable of both greatness and failure. Each day it gets to decide what it wants to be, a lot like I do, and I allow it. That is my golden advice to everyone with hair - don't force it, work with it, because at the end of the day its just hair, and by no means should it get you down due to the way it wants to show up.

Today I love my hair. I love styling it. I love creating different looks, different ways for it to fall around my face. I take loving care of it, and use good products so that it may perform at its best. I'd like to share with you my signature style, the beachy undone. This is my process when I don't want to use hot tools, but still want personality - volume, body, and texture. It feels most like me, and if you can relate this story might resonate.

First, I wash it with what I am head-over-heels for, R+Co Television Shampoo and Conditioner. This stuff actually does most of the work. Pure magic, I'm serious, it is the most miraculous shampoo and conditioner that I've ever encountered thus far, in my life!

After, I spray a thickening spray throughout, and again the one I am loving right now is R+Co's Dallas. It does the trick, and the packaging is spot on, which always makes me happy. I want the products too look good in my bathroom, you know?

I only blow-dry my roots and leave the ends damp. I then divide my hair in half, twist each section away from my face in a loose bun, and secure with a bobby pin. I do my makeup while it dries.

After a bit, I take them out and give them a little shake to loosen the wave. Then I spray the best wave spray available, trust me I have tried them ALL! Ouai makes the most genius wave creator / keeper and it smells amazing. It doesn't make your hair sticky or frizzy the way most salt sprays do. I let my hair then dry completely. The outcome is a very natural, very uncomplicated look, like maybe I just rolled off the beach and don't have a care in the world about what my hair is doing but somehow it is doing all of the right things.

This is really all you need! But I do have a couple of other gems that I love for extra awesome. IGK makes a texture spray that adds a little more grit and drama. I like carrying the travel size in my bag so I can add / revive throughout the day. I've also used Jonathon's Dirt Shine and Define Cream since the beginning of time, and it is still my favorite tool for adding - dimension, a little polish as it does define, and my favorite - shine. I will continue to apply this to my ends days after washing when my hair really looks its best.

These days for me, perfect hair is not interesting. I like it a little bit of a mess. Texture is character. It tells a story. It sends the message that you can't be bothered to work too hard to keep up with perfect appearances but that you will just naturally pull off unruly, effortless cool.

Products are linked as my affiliate links. You can also visit my Hair Undone Kit, which includes a few other products that I know and love, as well as Coco's Choice page here on Deering Street. As always everything I mention is something I truly believe in. Happy hair tool hunting!

"I like messy people; people who don't fit in a box or stay between the lines, but whose integrity is greater than any rule book and whose loyalty is stronger than blood."

- Jim Wern

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